How To Slash Tires Quietly
Have you ever wanted to slash someone’s tires but felt guilty about the noise? Well, this post is for you. I’m going to show you how to do it without making any noise at all.
Slash Tires Quietly
You shouldn’t just go slashing tires on some stranger’s car and expect to get away with it. You need a plan. Think of the worst person you know and slash their tires, but for this, you’re going to want them to be someplace where they can’t scream at you. You have to think of it like a military operation. Surgical precision is the key here. Here is how you do it.
How To Slash Tires Without Making Noise
Slash Tires Quietly-Method 1: Nails Method
This is the first method I’ve ever tried, and it works great. If you don’t want to damage the tires (and possibly leak air), use this method instead of cutting or breaking them. It will take a long time, though, but if you’re patient enough, it’ll work.
Slash Tires Quietly-Method 2: Glass Method
Put some clear glass in front of the tires you’re going to slash. I recommend safety glasses or anything that won’t break when you take a hammer to it. You can do pretty much any type of glass, but windshields are the best because they have little nubs on them that will make noise when slashed (noisy).
Slash Tires Quietly-Method 3: Hammer Method
This is the best method. It will make the most noise and mark the tires up the most. The more you use this method, the better at it you’ll get too. One thing to note about this method is that you want to use a hammer with a long handle. You want to be in control of where the hammer is at all times, so you don’t hurt yourself or someone else.
Slash Tires Quietly-Method 4: Small Puncture With Really Sharp Knife
This is a straightforward method. All you have to do is get a sharp pocket knife and go for it. It’s not going to make any noise at all, so use this on someone who won’t be yelling or anything like that (maybe your grandparents).
Slash Tires Quietly-Method 5: Slash The Tire Horizontally
All you have to do is make a horizontal cut in the tire. This won’t work on most cars, but if there’s an angled part of the sidewall, it’ll go right through that and deflate the tire slowly. If there isn’t, then you’ll just damage the belt or something else along those lines (it all depends on your vehicle).
Slash Tires Quietly-Method 6: Use Ice Pick On The Inner Tube
You can only use this method on tires with inner tubes (which deflate slowly when punctured). You don’t have to worry about the noise, but you will ruin the tire. This works by punching the rubber all around the tire so it will deflate slowly. It’ll be pretty apparent that you did it, though.
This is by far the best way to do this. Just put on your clown outfit, then go around slashing tires at random (maybe disturb some ppl). Sometimes people are nervous about clowns, which makes them scream. If you’re doing this on some severe person, just follow them around with big clown shoes and make loud noises with your mouth. This will scare the crap out of anyone (except for me).
Slash Tires Quietly-Method 7: Use Acetylene Torch
If someone is screaming like a little girl, you can use a propane torch to silence them. Just make sure you put a towel or something else in front of the flame, so you don’t hurt anyone or anything. Don’t use this on car tires, only inflatable items like pool toys and such.
Slash Tires Quietly-Method 8: Spray Car With Brake Fluid
If you need to get away fast, then spray your car with brake fluid. This will cause the person chasing you to be careful and drive slowly for about 20 minutes (maybe more). If they don’t pursue you, though, it’ll just leave a massive mess on their windshield and front of the car.
Slash Tires Quietly-Method 9: Use Windex
This isn’t a very effective method, but if you want to ruin someone’s windshield and deflate their tires simultaneously, then this is the way to do it. Just spray some Windex on their windshield and wait for it to dry. Then slash away! It’ll also leave huge nasty streaks, and it’s pretty apparent when you use this method.
What If You Get Caught
Most of the time, you won’t get caught, but sometimes these things happen. If the person knows it was you and has proof, maybe your best bet is to just turn yourself in. You might not get in trouble for this, though (it depends on who sees you, though). They’ll probably just be pissed off at you, and they’ll want to know why you did it. Try not to talk back and just say that you were bored or something like that (usually a girl or guy who does this).
Suppose You Get Caught For Tire Slashings. Then congratulations! The police caught you! Good luck getting out of this one. They’ll probably put you in jail for about ten years (or less, depending on the judge). Do your time and try not to kill anyone.
There you have it, a list of the nine best ways to slash tires without making too much noise. Try one out and see what happens! I hope this helped some people who wanted to do this.
Q: How do I get rid of the evidence?
A: Spray it with some brake fluid or Windex and then wipe it off. You could also use a towel.
Q: What if they catch me slashing tires?
A: If you’re caught, then accept it as a loss and don’t fight back (just talk back). Remember, it’s not jail if you’re under 18!
Q: Where can I buy a knife like the one in this article?
A: Just go to your local Wal-Mart or something. You should be able to find one for cheap (maybe $2). If that doesn’t work, then try eBay.
Q: How much does it cost?
A: It depends on the store, but usually, you can find one for $1 (at least that’s what I paid at my Wal-Mart).
Q: What if they don't sell them in the store?
A: Try eBay! There are thousands of people selling knives like these. Just make sure they’re not real ones or something like that.
Q: What if they have a giant fence around their house?
A: Either climb over it, go in through the gate (might have some people working there), or use a unique tool to open locks on doors and gates. You can probably find a lock picking kit for about $10 in a store.
Q: What if there's a car alarm in their driveway?
A: Try to look in the window and see if you hear it going off when you slash one of the tires. If you don’t, then just cut away!